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Quest for the right word rewards both authors and readers

     Department of Cell and Molecular Biology, 2000 Percival Stern Hall, Tulane University, New Orleans, Louisiana 70118

	INTRODUCTION

TOP INTRODUCTION TO START WORDS OVERUSED OR USED... BEWARE THE RIGHT WORD DON’T CONFUSE ON THE ENDANGERED LIST BUT NOT LEAST

 
This informal essay grew out my 30-plus years of experience in the publishing business and is part of a larger project on writing and editing. The concepts presented below are among those I have been applying to Mycologia during my recent tenure as assistant editor. I’m sharing these ideas here with those of you who care deeply about Mycologia—its authors, readers, editors and members of the Mycological Society of America—in the hope that they might help to improve communication in the journal, whose writing and scientific standards already are high, with all best wishes to former Editor in Chief Joan W. Bennett, who hired me, and new Editor in Chief Donald Natvig and his staff.

I commend for your edification Scientific Style and Format: The CBE Manual for Authors, Editors, and Publishers, 6th edition, published in 1994 by the Council of Biology Editors Inc. It is an essential writing and editing tool for scientists. A 7th edition is in the works.

	TO START

TOP INTRODUCTION TO START WORDS OVERUSED OR USED... BEWARE THE RIGHT WORD DON’T CONFUSE ON THE ENDANGERED LIST BUT NOT LEAST

 
Titles. – Please include a verb; doing so infuses the title with meaning, clarity and power. The verb turns the title into a complete thought, grabbing the attention of your reader. A crusty news editor I once worked with, and learned a lot from, emphasized the importance of verbs in all writing, not just in headline writing. The writer’s careful selection of the right verb does more for a sentence than truckloads of adjectives and adverbs, he said, adding that it’s the most important word in the sentence. And I agree with him.

Sentences. – Don’t lead with attribution or a prepositional phrase, when possible. Instead rewrite to get the important information up front, where it belongs. Lead with the subject and don’t delay the predicate. Attribution belongs at the end of the sentence, as that news editor would say.

	WORDS OVERUSED OR USED INCORRECTLY

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Don’t follow. – "Following" (or "followed") probably is the most overused word in Mycologia, followed very closely by "very". To avoid this tedious construction, I suggest turning "according to the following schedule:" into "according to this schedule:" or "the following examples:" into "these examples:". This recommendation applies to all similar constructions. "Following" can take the reader to unsuspected places, such as in the case of a memorial claiming that "Dr. Doe died following a lengthy illness". The word "after" is a better choice here and best of all doesn’t evoke the image of the recently deceased trailing a dreaded disease to the grave.

Heavy lifting. – "Massive" (or "mass") frequently is misused, especially in the popular media, and sadly has become acceptable in some circles. "Massive wild-fire", "mass killing", "massive heart attack" and the like are corruptions of the original definition of word. In my mind "massive" strictly applies to objects having significant mass. Therefore Mycologia authors probably should avoid descriptions of "massive" spores, even in relative terms.

Word order. – Watch placement of "only", "just", "either" and "both". The meaning of the sentence changes when the positions of these words change.

Wretched excess. – "Over" has come to mean many things—too many things, in my mind—to many people. In casual conversation its meaning now includes "finished", "done with", "repeated", "above", "recovered from" and "exceeded". Therefore in most such cases I instead deploy "more than" or "greater than". I much prefer "He has published more than 10 papers on the subject" to "He has published over 10 papers on the subject". However, when "over" means "above", sometimes it’s the best choice (e.g., "Somewhere over the rainbow").

The meaning of "beside" and "besides" also has been blurred in informal discourse. I suggest "adjacent to" or "near" as clear alternatives in formal writing.

"Like" has suffered similarly after its proliferation in Valley Speak ("Like, I am, like, so over it!"). I use "such as" where possible when comparing people, places and concepts (e.g., "Shun jargon such as ‘obpyriform’ "). That way I avoid sounding like a teenager.

	BEWARE

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Don’t listen. – Resist the siren call to use "comprehensive" and "special". The items they describe usually are neither, I’ve learned.

You can look it up. – "Comprise" and "compose" are similar words but don’t mean the same things. And while we’re on the subject, "composed of" is OK, "comprised of" is not.

Spell the way Americans do. – This journal is published by the Mycological Society of America, so we follow American conventions. Here are words recently corrected in Mycologia manuscripts, with no apologies to The New Yorker: grey, theatre, metre, fibre, centre, towards, amidst, amongst, upwards, downwards, analysed and colour. American—as opposed to Canadian—spellings by contrast are gray, theater, meter, fiber, center, toward, amid, among, upward, downward, analyzed and color. Mycologia allows exceptions, of course. "Grey" is correct when citing The Methuen Handbook of Colour, published in the United Kingdom. "Colour" works in this case, too.

Capitalization. – Job titles are not capitalized unless they precede the names of the individuals cited. Therefore one would say "The associate editor has not received the revision" or "Gary Samuels is a Mycologia associate editor" or "Mycologia Associate Editor Nik Money has written several witty books on fungi".

It similarly is incorrect to use an abbreviated academic title anywhere other than after the name of the person possessing that title. Wrong: He earned his PhD in 1966. Right: He earned his doctorate in 1966. (Please note that PhD has no periods. This also applies to MS, Dr and Mr, Mrs and Ms.)

Unscramble. – Wherever possible don’t split verbs. Change "were later segregated" or "were probably assumed" into "later were segregated’ or "probably were assumed." This results in stronger writing. Avoid this practice, however, if the result is awkward or ugly. In light of these suggestions, I’d like to add another: Place adverbs adjacent to the verbs they modify.

Symbols. – One doesn’t have to be a typographer nowadays to access them. They happily and democratically are available now to all, thanks to computer writing programs. I like to use them, and I hope you’ll like to use them too.

Let’s start with prime and double prime, which often are overlooked. Prime looks like this ' and double prime looks like this ''. They are used this way 3'-GATTACCA-5' in sequences and this 30°1' 21''N to indicate minutes and seconds of geographic coordinates. These symbols are not to be confused with an apostrophe ’, accent ' or single or double closed quotation marks ’ ".

And while we’re on the subject, the degree symbol ° also is available in the symbol toolbox; it is not a superscript o and is used only to indicate degrees of global latitude or longitude in scientific writing. In this way temperature is expressed as 0 C, 15 C, etc., with "degree" understood.

This brings me to the multiplication symbol x , also available in the toolbox. It is different from the letter x.

	THE RIGHT WORD

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Think vs. feel. – Emotions don’t intercede in scholarly discourse; scientists express thoughts and ideas, not emotions. "The authors feel they are correct" thus doesn’t cut it but "The authors think/know/believe they are correct" does.

Simple good, complex bad. – The simplest construction is always the best, in my book. Use "seen" rather than "visualized", for example. Always use "before" rather than "prior to". In the same manner, simply use "to" instead of "in order to". "Use" is a better word than "utilize", "help" better than "facilitate", "almost" better then "virtually" and "let" better than "allowed to" and "with" better than "using". Twenty-five cent words impede scholarly discourse; five cent words help it.

That’s plenty. – I’m always on watch for superfluous words when I’m crafting a sentence. The careful writer’s job is similar to that of a sculptor in this way. Both eliminate unnecessary material to reveal the art hidden within.

As a word "outside" does the job nicely all by itself; it doesn’t require the preposition "of". "The species was found outside the house" is both accurate and economical. The same applies to "incubated", as in "incubated 4 h" ("incubated for 4 h" is unnecessary), and to "escape", as in "The nematode escaped the fungal trap" (not "The nematode escaped from the fungal trap").

Lose the word "previous" in this sentence: "Previous studies (Doe 1895, 1912; Smith 1920) supported this theory". The same goes for "already" here: "The genus already had been investigated (Doe 1895, 1912; Smith 1920)". Come to think of it, I have observed an inverse relationship between the number of words used and the clarity and the strength of the writing. Papers and readers benefit from economy and precision. In this vein, a reduction in commas also is advised, along with the overworked article "the".

The terrible two. – In formal writing "since", an adverb, doesn’t mean "because", a conjunction, ("Since this method had been tried . . .") and neither does "as", a scientific favorite ("We were unhappy as our study hit a snag"). Use "because" in each case ("Because this method had been tried" and "We were unhappy because our study hit a snag"). Leave "since" to expressions of the passage of time ("I haven’t seen him since the last MSA foray") and "as" to comparables ("Truffles are as delicious as a fungi get." or "Shun adjectives such as ‘quite’ ").

Level. – This word can conceal a multitude of scholarly sins. It is used subconsciously as a form of shorthand, I suspect, but shorthand is best avoided where precision is required. When tempted to use it, I look deeper to determine what I’m trying to say. (Unnecessary: The water level was too high. Just right: The water was too high.) The same applies to "rate". (Unnecessary: The fungus was measured daily to determine its growth rate. Just right: The fungus was measured daily to determine its growth over time.) This discussion brings to mind the popularity of jargon and the problems it creates. A current TV commercial came to mind when I was casting about for an example for Mycologia writers and readers. The ad in question oddly claims that the side effects of the product are "low". This statement is patently absurd, leaving the alert viewer to ponder what a "low" side effect might be. While these so-called "low" side effects were determined from human tests that focused on the "frequency" of said symptoms, the concept as stated still doesn’t translate into Plain English, which demands clarity and sensibility. Neither does the claim that the "frequency of side effects is low". Here’s how I’d approach the matter if I were the copywriter: I’d say that "The product produces few side effects", or that "Side effects are rare (or mild or easily tolerated)". Scholarly papers that translate jargon into Plain English produce similarly happy results.

Levels, rates, frequencies are best left to tables, where the data speak for themselves. The text is better served when the careful writer avoids jargon.

	DON’T CONFUSE

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May/might. – Maintaining a precise distinction between the two is a personal crusade of mine. I restrict the use of "may" to discussion of the ability to do something ("We know this fungus may sporulate both in the dark and in daylight"). And I use "might" to express conjecture ("We think this fungus might sporulate both in the dark and in daylight"). While I’m willing to concede that these auxiliary verbs have become "generally" equivalent in meaning, as some dictionaries claim, I stand fast in the knowledge these words have distinct Old English roots ("mæg" in the case of may and "möchte" in the case of might) with distinct meanings, the same meanings I honor today.

Other distinctions deserve the attention of the careful writer. These include "between/among", "less/fewer", "last/past", "different/separate", "bring/take" and "odor/smell".

	ON THE ENDANGERED LIST

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"In many cases, but not all". – This bit of redundancy speaks for itself. The same goes for "completely destroyed", "totally defeated", "PIN number" and all similarly unfortunate combinations.

There is/there are. – This is a weak verb form, called a "pronominal force" (i.e. a flimsy hybrid), and should be avoided wherever possible. The way to do this is to rethink and to recast the sentence (e.g., turning "There are five specimens in the jar" into "Five specimens are in the jar"). As support I cite the wisdom of beleaguered English teachers everywhere, who outlaw its use with the admonition that "the writer’s mantra is ‘subject-verb, subject-verb, subject-verb’ ".

Too much. – Shun adjectives such as "quite" and "rather". They add nothing to a manuscript and are a tad twee. The threadbare "very" also adds little (see Don’t follow above).

Lifestyle. – It’s a gaseous, lazy word invented by the popular media (e.g., "The lifestyles of the rich and famous"). Newspapers, TV networks and magazines that know better have "Living" or "Style" sections not "Lifestyle" sections, with no apologies to The Rocky Mountain News, The Sacramento Bee or The Weather Channel. Further, if human beings don’t have lifestyles, fungi certainly don’t either. I instead recommend using real words such as "habit", "way of life" and "life cycle".

Interestingly, surprisingly, firstly, secondly, lastly. – We developed an ever-growing list called "Not the Words" during my tenure on The Times-Picayune Copy Desk. "Not the Words" grew out of our frustrating (not frustratingly), unhappy encounters with the like. The list was a compilation of things (I can’t call them words) we urged staff writers to avoid. These five conglomerates qualify for inclusion in that list. To remedy I suggest thinking of ways to write around them. To avoid "interestingly" how about "The authors found this discovery to be interesting"? To avoid "surprisingly", how about "The authors were surprised by the results"? The last three, I think, are inspirited by bona fide words such as "primarily", "ultimately" and "finally". Here’s a simple solution: use "first", "second" and "last".

	BUT NOT LEAST

TOP INTRODUCTION TO START WORDS OVERUSED OR USED... BEWARE THE RIGHT WORD DON’T CONFUSE ON THE ENDANGERED LIST BUT NOT LEAST

 
Funded/financed. – Careful readers of the journal might have noticed in ACKNOWLEDGMENTS that Mycologia papers no longer are "funded". That’s because "funded" is an ugly, meaningless word (with no apologies to PBS, which recently came up with this whopper: "The following program was funded by the following funders.") and thus has been banned from the journal during my tenure. The coinage gained popularity, but not accuracy, I suspect, because it seemed to provide a way of glossing over cash transactions (viz. "The agency is out of funds" vs. "The agency is out of money."). All Mycologia papers now are "financed" or "financially supported". That way we’re not mincing words. Please note also that the G and M in ACKNOWLEDGMENT(S) is not interrupted by an E in American English.

	FOOTNOTES

 
¹ E-mail: mycology{at}tulane.edu

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